I sometimes wonder
What my life could’ve been
If I was never put in
That red baby dress

I sometimes wonder
What my future would’ve been
If I wasn’t just another
Thing they left behind

I used to wonder
What the whispers would be
Behind my back, speaking
Of the misfortune that’s befallen me

I used to believe
That I was equal to only
The sum of their perceived mistake
The product of a poor decision

I used to be someone
Whom I no longer recognise
The dues of the labours of love
Bringing forth my truest reflection 

Now every Mothers’ day
I say a prayer for her
Heard only by the stars
And the One who made them

I sometimes wonder if she’s okay
I hope she has what she lacked
When she made the choice to have me
I hope she is loved 

I sometimes wonder if
I’m a passing thought or
A date on a paper that’s locked away,
A vague outline of a past life  

I now believe that I am
A product of those who love me
No more overtaken by the guilt and
Shame which then defined my days 

I am blessed, I am chosen
By those God brought to my side
To have my name on their hearts
Before they even held me

I am nothing but for what
I have received in the weight
Of their agape, releasing the bonds
Of my past and making me whole.